I know you needed space, but dammit.... why did it have to be like this?

I know that you had to get away from me to heal.

I just wish you hadn't betrayed me to do that.

I wish you had told me, "I need to go, but I'll be back."

It still would have hurt, but not nearly as badly as this.

Now that I feel the full brunt of betrayal, I realize that you felt the hurt of betrayal much more deeply than me. Even though the betrayal wasn't real, even though it was only in your mind, it was still far more excruciating for you than it is for me.

The feelings that come from being betrayed makes the body sick. My body feels the impact of it, but I know that your body was in so much more torment than mine is.

Your Torture
Source: Your mind - You imagined me to be betraying you.
Intensity: Physically and mentally debilitating - loss of bodily control
Afterward: When I knew of those tortuous feelings inside you, I had arms to hold you and sooth you and show the dream to be a lie.

My Torture
Source: You abandoning me in real life
Intensity: Emptiness, numbness, uncontrolable crying, mental debilitation - I didn't lose my body to the betrayal the way you did. This shows me how much more intense your hurt was.
Afterward: I don't have your arms to hold me, to reassure me that it isn't real. I know that it's as real as it gets.